Before there was The SuperFogeys, there was the blog “From Behind the Light.” This is from 2005:
I think the powers of darkness tried to kill me last night.
How do I know this? First of all, it was nighttime. Everyone knows that Satan would not kill you during the day. It just wouldn’t be cool.
Second of all, my almost death came in three parts. Three is a very significant number in demonology. If you take the number three and times it by two then you have a six. If you have three sixes (Notice how all of the sudden the number three popped up again?) and put them together you have… that’s right. 666.
The third indicator of darkness was my own personal road rage. I am normally a calm, peaceful individual. When I drive, I imagine that my wheels are gliding along a road made of water and incense. Yes, it makes no sense, but can you imagine two things that inspire more tranquility than water and incense? I certainly can’t. So, how then could it be that I, the envy of Tibetan Monks everywhere (especially in, y’know, Tibet) could experience road rage? It’s not possible. Unless… unless powerful dark forces were at work. Which they WERE.
First came the Omen. I had driven way out into the country to pick up one of the youths in my church to take him to an activity. He wasn’t there. Why was he not there? He was, at that very moment, rehearsing in a choir for a performance of ‘Handel’s Messiah.’ Truly, dark forces had already taken control of the evening.
So I made my way back into the city towards the church, alone. When you are alone, you are the most vulnerable to a Satanic attack. Satan wasted no time; upon making my way onto the main road that led back to town, I was immediately confronted with a Honda Civic. An evil Honda Civic. How did I know it was evil? It was a Honda Civic. Also, we were on a 50 mph road and this car had the audacity to only go 35 mph. I remained calm. I thought about flashing my lights. “No, no. I can just pass him.” So I did. Crisis averted, right?
Wrong. This was just the first salvo. I was being lulled into a state of security. Having already encountered one lazy driver, what were the odds that I’d encounter two? Pretty even, as it turned out.
As soon as I was back into town, a Mustang pulled out in front of me. No problem there, it wasn’t like he cut me off or anything. But wait… what was this? Yep, you’ve already guessed it. This Mustang, this car with so much horsepower in it it was actually NAMED AFTER A HORSE, was doing about 25 mph in a 45 mph zone. “No problem,” I said to myself. “I can just pass him.”
A couple of oncoming cars blocked my initial attempts, but soon I was on my way. “Plenty of room,” I thought to myself. So there I am, rocking out to Enya, and it’s just as I’m up alongside the Mustang and staring down the headlights of the car that was rushing quickly towards me that I realized something very, very wrong was occurring. The Mustang was speeding up! I sped up more, and the Mustang matched me. Demony sounds emanated from it’s engine.
At about 3 seconds away from my own death, I slammed on the brakes and took my place once more behind the Mustang. Thoughts of water and incense left me and I cursed Enya’s Celtic wordplay. I was mad now. The Mustang immediately pulled off to the side of the road. I do not know why it did this; I can only suspect it might have been pulled over by an invisible demon cop that reprimanded it for it’s failed attempt on my life. But that is only speculation on my part.
It was time for my revenge. It was time to rage.
I honked my horn.
But even then, Satan was not done. Everything that had happened so far on the road that evening was just a prelude to the ultimate evil.
That’s right, a mini van.
I was not 100 feet further down the road when the white beast pulled out in front of me. There was a stop sign on it’s side of the street, but it did not care. It was time for it to go, right then. How else to ensure my death? So there I am, doing 50 mph in a 45 mph zone (remember, I was raging) and this mini van, this monster from hell, pulls right in front of me and proceeds to go precisely as slow as he needs to to make sure that I rear-end him. But I was smarter than that, I knew what to do. I slowed down to an appropriate speed and didn’t tail him. Though I was raging, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
Three attempts on my life and I had emerged victorious. But it wasn’t just me. I had protection, and I knew who my provider was. I was alive and it felt good. I was also in the perfect spot to exact my final revenge. Again, I honked my horn.
That’s right, two horn honkings. Take that, Satan.
Oh Brock, I love your commentary even more than the strips themselves sometimes.
I think Spy Gal needs better taste in men. Oh wait, she’s a woman, makes sense now.
Ooh, burn. Women, you gonna let that stand?
….. Is that implying gay men are the only ones who know how to pick ‘em?
We’d pick better men if we had a better pool of candidates to draw from! Oh wait, they’re men. That’s the best we’re gonna get. >P
Not all of us are THAT bad…
Brock, from what I can tell of you from your blog posts, you’re no man. You, sir, are among the rare breed known as “gentlemen”. You don’t fall into the same pool of judgment.
… Is that Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty?
How many people who actually use the internet are even old enough to get that joke, Heasley?!
Well, I guess I’m old enough…and you are too! But all credit to Marc for the Golden Girls cameo–I didn’t even make the connection until I saw the second draft of the art for this strip!
There’re plenty of us out here, Meredia.
I used to love that show – and I say that as a male (straight) Brit who would have been in his twenties when it finally closed.
Oh, and ‘Aaawww!’ for the touching last panel.
Bingo Knight is nothing if not 100% entertainer. A consummate professional.
And RIGHT there you can see that Spy-gal has more than just considered Jerry once or twice in the past. In fact, I bet she could see herself being quite happy with Jerry if circumstances weren’t what they currently are.
Keep it comin boss.
Will do! What happens next… hoo boy.
My first thought was “Is that the Golden Girls behind them?”
And then “Why is she leaning on Jerry if she told him no, stop sending the demented man mixed signals girl!”
I agree. Spy Gal is a tramp. Let’s run her out of town!
@Sam — she’s sending him mixed signals because she doesn’t really know what she wants herself.
Jerry really should have struck out on his own and revealed his door abilities. And I’m still kinda curious about how innocent he was in his origin. He doesn’t honestly seem like a bad guy… a little messed up, but he believes too much in being a hero to be a true sociopath.
So Spy Gal might be human? No, Scott, no! She’s a SUPER hero. Someone should tell her this.
So much trouble is due, I can hardly wait for it.
If Sophia leans forward and calls Jerry a bagagaloup [sp?] I will prolly fall out of my chair laughing myself stupid. (To which Dorothy should stage-whisper, “Shady Pines, Ma.”)
I love any excuse to see The Bingo Knight and Lady Keno (two of my favourite side characters).
Keep up the awesome work, you two!
Bingo Knight is a lot of fun to play with. His role is pretty minor in this chapter, but he’s fun. I’m sure we’ll see him again before it’s all over.
Jerry may be an evil SOB but The Captain is a lazy SOB. Evil is manageable, Lazy is not.
I’d still take lazy over out-and-out evil. At least with lazy I know what to expect.
I wanna live in the Super Fogey’s universe!!! Course I’d live in any universe where Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty are still alive…. *sighs*
But wait… are they playing Bingo or is that some sort of weird stage play they’re watching?
It’s basically both. C’mon, he’s BINGO Knight!
Beautiful light and shadow effects. It’s subtle, but it works marvelously!
Agreed! Marc brings a lot to the table, but the new lighting and coloring effects are light years beyond what I was doing. Really great stuff.
I think it’s pretty obvious why Spy Gal is doing what she’s doing. I mean, c’mon. Who could resist Jerry’s belt buckle?
Jerry is all about the bold moves. The belt buckle is just the boldest.
Wow, I wish I could have commented when I originally saw this strip, because to me it was a shocker, ha ha. Spy Gal resting her head on Jerry’s shoulder and with that look? Second thoughts stepping away told me the character was trying to comfort Jerry’s feelings of rejection being that she does care about Jerry and according to earlier chapters sees him as a little brother. Of course, she has no idea he’s a crazy stalker-nutter (and I don’t use Brit-speak often) with 3 or 4 different identities and a giant killer robot.
Anyway, great look into the characters. I was shocked maybe for the first time – possibly fake Dr. Rocket’s death before it – by the fact that Spy Gal did this. Didn’t see it coming. Good writing taking us off guard then, Brock.
Looking back – Oh, she does have her power dampener on. Do you know how much comedy fodder you’ve missed out on by not allowing Spy Gal to phase through walls? I dunno. Probably a lot I imagine (why did it take me until JUST NOW to realize that?).
*And by “walls” I mean things in general.
I just realized that Bingo Knight’s dialogue here is actually breaking the fourth wall. It is meant in two ways: for the bingo contest, but also directly speaking to the reader. There are not many more moves left to be played in our tale before the winner of Spy Gal’s heart – if any – is crowned the victor. This is where it gets exciting. You should expect great things ahead!