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Top 10 Worst SuperFogeys Moments

by Brock Heasley on December 6th, 2011
Posted In: Uncategorized

Because I’m never one to shy away from calling myself to task (it’s healthy!) and writing a Top 10 BEST SuperFogeys moments would be incredibly self-serving, here are my picks for the Top 10 WORST SuperFogeys Moments (excluding SuperFogeys Origins–that’s a whole different list). We’re talking bad strips, embarrassing creative choices, mistakes, bad art, etc. This is the stuff I look back on and wish I could do differently.

WARNING! Spoilers ahead. If you haven’t read Chapters 1-12 of SuperFogeys, then I suggest coming back to this list once you have!

10. The Rocky Marriage of Words and Pictures - SF 319, “The Plans of Dr. Klein, Pt. 2 ‘Isn’t Everybody?’” - Pure comics, for me, are when the marriage of words and pictures is so tight that you can’t understand the story fully if you remove one from the other. Ostensibly, this strip is a good example of that, but the narration comes off as awkward and hard-to-follow. I think it would have helped a lot if I’d just had Dr. Klein say Spy Gal’s name out right at some point, but I was too busy being precious about it. I’m an idiot.

9. Hey, Why is His Leg Moving!? - SF 144 “Jerry Wakes Up” - Jerry, at this point in the story, is supposed to be paralyzed. But look at his leg in the second panel. Of course, we know from later revelations that his paralysis was faked, but that’s not what I was thinking when I drew it. I just drew what was funny to me, without any thought for continuity. Now, it reads as a clue. Very few of you picked up on my error, but it’s still an error. I’m LUCKY it works now in context. (And just to be clear… yes, I knew even then that Jerry wasn’t really paralyzed, but I’d never have dropped a clue THAT BIG intentionally.) 

8. Mommy, What is Spy Gal DOING? – SF 108, “Spy Gal Will Protect Jerry” – This is especially unfortunate because I think the intended joke is pretty funny. Spy Gal gets hit in the head, Spy Gal falls. But, because of the WAY she falls and how I framed it, some readers concluded a sexual act was involved. Jerry’s line in the last panel didn’t help matters. Oops.

7. BFFAC: Best Friends for a Chapter! - SF 118 – “Spy Gal vs. Star Maiden” – This is actually one of my favorite strips. It’s sweet and touching and funny and sad all at once. After a lifetime of animosity, Spy Gal and Star Maiden make amends and become best friends. Sort of. With the exception of a bit of interaction in chapter 5, the friendship is never revisited. Sweet as it is, the strip is all set up with almost no payoff.

6. Big Moment, Drab Colors - SF 273, “All Is Revealed” - Is there a bigger or more important moment in SuperFogeys history? Not so far. If I or anyone else was ever to make a Top 10 BEST Moments list, I can’t imagine this strip wouldn’t be on it. And yet… this is the strip that really made me regret the color scheme I chose for Dr. Klein’s office. It didn’t serve the big reveal well and what should be a big, exciting moment doesn’t look it at all. I should have done more to jazz up the art. Visually, this falls flat. And that kind of hurts.

5. Why Zoom Out When You Can Zoom In? - SF 33, “Why Walk When You Can Fly?” - Perhaps the worst panel-to-panel storytelling I’ve ever done. It’s almost incomprehensible what’s happening in this strip. Would have solved a lot of problems if I’d simply zoomed out the camera some so you could actually, I dunno, see what was going on.

4. That… That Doesn’t Look Right - SF 240, “ZAP!” - The “death” of Tom. I was really going for something cool with the last panel. And the next-to-last panel. And all the other panels. But it didn’t work. Artistically, this strip just falls down. The all-digital treatment of the final panel doesn’t agree with the hand drawn previous panels and the staging is just horrible. Another big moment that didn’t get its proper due.

3. Spy Gal and Captain Spectacular Talk… Annnnd That’s Pretty Much It – SF Chapter 8, “The Captain and the Spy” - That’s right, I’m callin’ out a whole chapter. It’s only 7 strips, but still… This short chapter was created as a response to some (accurate) criticism that there wasn’t enough meat on the Cap-Spy Gal relationship bones. So, for 7 strips, I had them talk to each other. It felt brilliant when I did it and there’s some important stuff going on, but ultimately two people talking is not enough happening for one chapter. It would have been much more effective if I’d had them facing down a threat together–even a minor one–while working out their issues. A missed opportunity.

2. Why Draw When You Can Cut and Paste? - SF 23, “The Incontinent Duo” - Not only is this strip kind of gross (actually, much of Chapter One is–I traded on the vagaries of old age much more in the beginning), but there’s not a single line of original artwork in this strip. I was so ashamed after putting out this strip that I rededicated myself to art quality and improvement. Want to know why SF art got so much better over the years? Look no further than this strip.

1. The Strip No One Ever Reads Twice - SF 196, “Like the Walls of Jericho (If You Could Ride His Rocket) – Why is this number one? Because if there’s one SF strip I would remove from the record if I could, this is the one. Embarrassing on almost every level. The first–and only–song lyrics I have ever written, and also just about the worst lyrics anyone has ever written. From the unintentional double entendre in the chorus to the “rap” sections, this is a travesty. So much so that I bet those of you that go archive digging skip over this one. It’s one saving grace is that it does not feature any of the regular characters. So why did I do it? Well, I like to challenge myself. Only way to find out what you’re good at. Was it worth it? In retrospect, probably not.

And there you go! The Top 10 Worst Moments in SuperFogeys history! Agree? Disagree? Have some additions? Sound off below!

└ Tags: captain emo, healer, lyrics, superfogeys, top ten, webcomics

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12 Comments

Further Adventures in Dog Rescue

by Brock Heasley on December 1st, 2011
Posted In: Uncategorized

Not the actual dogs, but this is EXACTLY what they both looked like.

I’m a cat person. Dogs are needy and slobbery and they all think we’re in a romantic relationship. (How else to explain my dog’s frequent attempts to insert his tongue into my mouth?) Still, when I see a dog in trouble, I can’t resist trying to help him out.

This morning it was my wife who noticed the two boxers running through the busy, busy street right outside our home (our kids aren’t allowed to play in the front yard it’s so busy). It was ten minutes before I needed to drop Elora off at school, but still I put on my shoes and ran out in my PJ’s.

Luckily, a nice family stopped and was already trying to corral the dogs. One of them they had, but the other one was skittish and the closer we got to it, the more it did its best to kill itself by running back out into traffic. I grabbed some dog treats to try to coax it over and they worked well enough for one of us to grab her by the collar and secure her. Luckily, the dogs were super nice and didn’t try to bite us.

Now knowing what else to do, we dragged both dogs over to my house and secured them behind the gate on my porch. The runner I tied up with a leash for extra security, but the other one was content to just lay down and enjoy the scenery.  My wife set out pumpkins a month ago and they and the leaves that had recently blown in from the terrible wind that had kicked up earlier that morning were still there. I thanked the nice family for their help and sent them on their way. I took Elora to school and then came back to call Animal Control.

The animals looked resigned and unhappy. They were gaunt. Ribs were clearly visible and there was not an ounce of fat on them. I brought out some of my dog’s food and a bowl of water. They attacked both with enthusiasm and I went back inside to wait half an hour for someone to talk to me. Watched the new John Carter trailer. Checked email. When I finally got a live person on the line, they told me I’d need to sign for the dogs to release them.

Me: What? Why?

Lady on the Phone: Because you have them secured behind a gate and we can’t open the gate.

Me: Sure you can. It’s not locked and you can open it and let them out.

LotP: No, sir, we can’t. We cannot open a door or gate to get the dogs unless someone at the house is there to give us permission and sign for them.

Me: I’m giving your permission right now.

LotP: I’m sorry sir. If you were to leave the gate open then we could get the dogs without you there.

Me: If I open the gate they’ll run out into the street and get hit by a car.

LotP: I’m sorry. The only way we can get the dogs is if the gate is open.

Me: Are you telling me you’d rather they get hit by a car than come and open a gate?

LotP: No, that’s just legally all we can do.

Me: Well, when are you coming by?

LotP: It could be anytime from when you call to when we close. It really depends on where the driver is when he gets the call.

Me: This is ridiculous. I have to go to work!

LotP: When do you go in?

Me: A half hour ago.

By now my wife has taken note of our conversation and I ask her when she’ll be home.

Me: Okay, my wife will be here this afternoon. Can you come then?

LotP: I think we can do that, yes.

That settled, I went back out to check on the dogs. They stunk. Bad. The food I’d left for them was all gone and there was dog vomit all over the porch. Dog vomit, I’ve concluded, smells much worse that human vomit. It didn’t just smell like fermented carrots. It smelled like fermented carrots dipped in rotten egg juice. Nasty bad.

I grabbed the hose and washed off the porch. I was careful to not hit the dogs and they were surprisingly good-natured about the intrusion. They were probably just grateful to be rid of the stuff so they could lay down again.

Now the vomit was all over the driveway. So, I spent another ten minutes clearing it off. I was way late for work, but that’s the gig, right? It’s almost impossible to help anyone (or any animal) without also putting yourself out.

Everything cleared out, I said goodbye to the dogs and got in my car. My car smelled like fermented carrots dipped in rotten egg juice. Sure enough, the bottoms of my shoes were covered in it. I got back out of my car and went over to the hose again, hopping on a foot at a time to the amusement of the passing cars and cleaning off the last evidence of my ill-advised attempt to feed some starving dogs.

Animal Control is a still a couple hours away from even considering picking up the dogs. I hope they do okay in the meantime. They’re sure not getting any more food.

**UPDATE**

The dogs spent all morning on our porch and the one I had tied up broke the leash (sorry, Oz. I’ll buy you a new one tonight) but did not escape. SPCA came by and picked them up at about 1:30pm. Neither were microchipped. They had to be escorted individually to the van and they whine and cried for each other when they were separated. I hope they find a good home together. Even more, I hope we spot some “Lost Dog” signs that can lead us to the owner.

└ Tags: animal control, dogs, personal story, red tape, rescue, vomit

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4 Comments

Call for Submissions to Guest Strippin’ Xmas 3!

by Brock Heasley on November 30th, 2011
Posted In: Uncategorized

It’s that time of year again when SuperFogeys takes a bit of time off and you get to step in to fill the gap!

Now, we just had the 5th Anniversary Celebration. You all were fiercely participatory during that time and I couldn’t have been more pleased with the chapter recaps. Because of that, I don’t expect this year’s Guest Strippin’ Xmas to be quite as big as in year’s past, but I suppose you never know.

What I do is that one of the few ways I can reward Marc for all his hard work is by giving him a bit of time off during the holidays to spend with his family. Plus, you guys always come up with such great stuff! So, if you’d like to submit, here’s the specs:

• Submissions can be in either strip or page format. Valhalla years or SuperFogeys Origins–it’s up to you! (Just bear in mind that your stories won’t be canon.)

• Funny is good.

• Strips will run at 900 pixels across.  Please send that size or larger.  I can always scale down, but never up.

• Spy Gal naked is bad.

• Please include “SuperFogeys (copyright symbol) 2011 Brock Heasley” underneath the strip.

• email to: bwhheasley (at) gmail.com

• Include your name, name of your comic (if you have one) and website url (if you have one) and whatever biographical information you’d like to see posted with your strip. Promoting you is my thank you, so please make sure I have my facts straight!

• Deadline is Dec. 20th

Have at it, folks! Please send any questions you have my way in the comments below.

└ Tags: christmas, guest strips, superfogeys

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1 Comment

And Now… A Great Moment in Parenting

by Brock Heasley on November 25th, 2011
Posted In: Uncategorized

My oldest daughter, Elora, occasionally suffers from abdominal migraines. For the longest time, we didn’t know what they were. She’d break out into spontaneous sweats at the oddest moments–usually when she was at her most calm and reading in bed. Many tests and doctors later, it turned out her stomach was just having a headache.

If she takes her pills every morning and every night, the migraines disappear. But she’s 9 and taking pills isn’t something she’s used to and it was getting to be a habit of hers to miss the morning pill in favor of getting to school on time or eating breakfast. Then the TV show Once Upon a Time came along. Elora watched the pilot and was hooked.

Elora’s bedtime is 8pm, right when Once comes on. I got the idea to bribe Elora, telling her that if she could take her pill every morning and every night without fail, then on Sunday she could watch Once live before going to bed. She agreed and for several weeks she took her pills successfully like clockwork. Until yesterday.

Elora admitted to us during dinner that she’d missed that morning’s pill. The mood at the table dropped. My wife and I both know how much she loves the show and we didn’t want to make her miss it… but we gotta be good parents. So, I came up with an idea. A way for Elora to still feel the consequence of having missed her pill (besides the obvious one of a potential migraine), but also get to watch her show.

Elora recently learned how to clean the bathroom after we made her do it every day for a week as punishment for a crime far worse than skipping a pill. She’s become a real pro at it. I told her if she cleaned the bathroom that night–put things away, scrub surfaces and the toilet–then she could watch the show on Sunday. Missing one pill isn’t that big of a deal. It’s missing several over the course of a week that can negatively impact her health.

Elora thought about it a minute and made her decision.

“No,” she said. “If I clean the bathroom then I’ll just think it’s no big deal in the future if I miss a pill. I can just clean the bathroom to make up for it. I need to remember to take my pill.”

This is why this is a great moment in parenting: because Elora parented herself. Erin and I tried to give Elora a way out. She didn’t take it because her self-discipline was more important to her than what she wanted. Man, how old was I when I learned that? 18? 19? 30? She’s friggin’ 9. It’s not just about pleasing us any more or not getting in trouble. There are things that are important to her.

I think most parents are like me and probably fear the teenage years. That’s when The Turn happens–when the innocence falls away and the anger and incorrigibility starts. Kids act more for themselves and angering their parents through defiance isn’t something to fear–it’s a motivator. Elora gave me a lot of hope last night that the good kid at the center of her being–the one who volunteers in the autism class during recess and tells boys who want to be her boyfriend that she’s too young for that nonsense and who has never once fought with her younger sister with special needs–isn’t going to be lost. I have no doubt she will struggle through adolescence just like her mom and I did, but I think she’s got a good chance of making a better go of it.

If not, I’m sure there will be other TV Shows we can hold over her head.

└ Tags: autism, cami, elora, erin, family matters, full house, once upon a time, parenting, personal story, special needs, tgif, tv

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7 Comments

15 Years Ago Today

by Brock Heasley on November 23rd, 2011
Posted In: Uncategorized

A still from the segment on Rescue 911 that told the story of the first shooting.

Today marks the 15th Anniversary of my father’s death. This is insane because I was 19-years-old when he died. (I’ll wait while you do the math.) I’m fast approaching a time when it will be longer since he’s been gone than the time I had with him. And yet, in a lot of ways, it feels like his death was just last week.

Coincidentally, I wrapped up my latest revision of the manuscript for my memoir today. (I’m not yet ready to talk about WHY I did another revision, but suffice it to say that this is a significant day for more than one reason.) The one passage I think I’ve struggled with the most over the course of my many, many rewrites hasbeen the one where I describe my thoughts and feelings immediately after finding out Dad had been killed.

For those of you that remain unaware (and, as often as I freely talk about it, that’s almost hard to believe), my father was killed in an armed robbery at his store 8 years after surviving a previous armed robbery. At the same store. Sometimes, lightning does strike twice. (Especially if you sell guns.)

Getting down on paper the various odd, monumental, despairing, uplifting, cynical, hateful, joyful and, ultimately, peaceful things that went through my head that night has just been an absolutely huge challenge. How do you take people on that journey with you? What words could possibly communicate those feelings? It helps that my memory of that night is about as clear as any memory I have, but still… it’s been a challenge.

I was in a unique situation when it happened. I hadn’t actually seen him in the flesh for 10 months.  I was serving as a missionary in Arizona, off in my own little world of cacti, no grass and a big, hot sun. When the call came in, I had just gotten home from a long day of knocking on doors and riding my bike and looking ridiculous with my helmet and tie ensemble. I couldn’t have been more shocked by the news–nor less surprised.

Dad always said he was going to die relatively young. He insisted he wouldn’t get to see all of his sons reach maturity. I’m the oldest of my four brothers and the youngest of us when he died was 9. (Hi, Tyler.) Everybody thinks bad things happen to other people. I grew up thinking we were the other people. It was kinda true. That’s a lot of what the book is about–what Dad knew and how that changed the way I saw the world and how much of a gift it was when he was finally taken from us. A bad thing does not always equal “a bad thing.”

There’s a hope and a responsibility that comes with knowing, and I’m glad Dad had the wisdom to tell us what was coming. My life hasn’t been the same since, but I can’t honestly say it’s been for the worse. Dad’s death marked a moment in my life when I stopped being who I was and became someone else entirely. We don’t get many moments like that, but when they come–however they come–they are an opportunity, I think. To grow, to change, to reassess, to gain empathy and understanding and experience. I hope I’ve taken advantage of that opportunity fully. I think that’s pretty much the point to life in general.

I’ll go visit his gravesite later today. I know he’s not there, but that’s as good a place as any to reflect and remember. And to be grateful.

└ Tags: arizona, dad, death, guns, memoir, missionary, mormon, personal story, religion, robbery, shooting

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1 Comment
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